Thursday, December 31, 2009

To Sum Up 2009...The Journey Within...

For those of you who have been in my life this past year know our journey...and, man, what a journey it has been. Just a little recap...we started the year out with a new addition, our sweet little baby boy, Cobin James, who was born January 15th, 2009. Then, about 3 hours after he was born, I was struck with the upsetting news that my husband, David, had been laid off from his job THAT day. That was tough to hear, but, I didn't want it to take away from the gift that we had received that day....our precious baby boy!!
Over the course of the first several months that followed, it was a difficult time for me. I didn't understand why this had to happen to us. Many thoughts ran through my mind..."What should be our next step?", "How could we possibly afford to take care of our child?", "How can we afford to pay our bills, mortgage, etc...?"! We prayed and hoped and prayed some more...all the while, David was applying left and right for jobs...but, still nothing!
We had AMAZING friends who helped us through this time of need with things like diapers, wipes, gift cards, etc....our church family was there for us (and still is...), also! We couldn't have felt a more outpouring of love if we tried!
But, through it all, all that I kept hearing was that I just needed to "Trust the Lord..." and that He (God) won't "forsake His children or let their seed beg for bread..." Being how I was raised in the church, I knew how the verses went...but, to put all that head knowledge to practice now? Let me be honest...that was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to learn. And, through it all, I was just expecting the Lord to come riding on His horse with His shining armour on and rescue us from these hardships and struggles. I remember saying, "there is no way God would allow us to go through this for Him to just NOT come and save the day and put things back together again".
Throughout this past year, I have gotten to meet people with worst situations than us. I visited a lady in the hospital who went paralyzed in March, who was stuck in the hospital for many, many months. I was able to be a blessing to people through different outreach projects and events. I learned that, regardless of our situation, I was genuinely blessed!
Well, after 7 months of searching for a job, David finally landed one...thank God! It was a rather lower paying job, but nevertheless, it was a job!! That means we're done, right? No more struggles....right? Ha ha...yeah, not quite...God was not done with me. There was more that I needed to learn. The "wordly" treasures that I held so dear and close?? Well, it's just stuff....and, well....I needed to learn to let go of it. So, this year, we made the decision to give it up and let God take control of it...ALL OF IT! We decided to go ahead and try and 'short sale' our home because we were too behind financially that we could no longer make payments. We decided that we just needed to let it all go and allow God to do as He will...besides, it's all His anyway, right?
I am letting go and letting God! It has been a hard lesson to learn, but, I know I would not be who I am if it weren't for Him. He is refining me into His mold, which is WAY better than anything that I could make myself! And, I know that I am not perfect, but, I am learning each and everyday. And, while 2009 was a tough year for us, the lesson I learned through it was invaluable and I would not change a thing! I had been WAY too comfortable up until that point.

I am thankful for the journey that He has taken me on. What a trip!!!!


Krystal Gracy

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